The statement ''Time for another one!'' and why it's so insensitive.

In my own personal opinion, the only time I enjoy hearing ''Have another one!'' is when we're talking about a glass of wine. But when children come into play, I think it's high up there on the list of things you just shouldn't say. Some people only want one child. Some people have no choice. Regardless, it's personal.

Asking the mom of a ''singleton'' if she plans to have more children is a common way for moms to bond. And I don't mind when well-intended people ask me whether or not I have other children. But to be honest, sometimes the follow-up questions get uncomfortable. Like these (Which I've heard too many times to count in real life and my singleton is only 9 months old.):

When are you going to have another baby? 

We're not. 

Why not?

This is where it starts to get uncomfortable. I usually laugh it off and try to make a joke of it. ''Willow is only ______ old!'' Or I say that if we want to clean up after something else, we'll get a pet. 

Do I mention my fertility issues, and how, after a successful and happy ''surprise'' pregnancy at the young age of twenty-one, I'm afraid to put my body through the stress it went through while pregnant the first time? Or about how there's a 50% chance every. single. time. that child could have Cystic Fibrosis? 

Oh. That's okay if you only have one.

Yes. I know. Thank you.

I bet your family wishes you'd have another.

Nope. They love our daughter, who is a pretty amazing kid. They understand, respect, and support our reasons for not having another. 

Aren't you worried about her being lonely/selfish/rebellious?

Yes, but not because she's an only child. Growing up, I had two brothers and two sisters. I was pretty rebellious in middle school, and high school too. So my biggest worry is that she'll be like me. (Or worse!) 

I think that all parents worry about their children being lonely. As mentioned before, I am the fourth of five children...yet I recall having moments of feeling alone, which I believe is an important skill for adulthood. We do make sure that she hangs out with other kids, though. She has lots and lots of cousins she sees regularly and she interacts very well so far with them. 

Our daughter may not have to share her toys at home, but we're still teaching her how important it is to be generous and patient with other children. (And doggies!) 

You have it so easy with only one kid!

No parent really has it ''easy'' to be honest. It's not a competition, but there are times where I believe that parents of singletons have it easier and then moments where parents of multiples do. 

I've been grocery shopping with my sister who has two boys and a girl on the way...so I can speak from personal experience when I say that my shopping experience with only one kid is more pleasant than her shopping experience where the three year old wants his pop-tart open NOW and I have witnessed the 7 year old sulking and having an attitude when he is told he cannot have something. I know it will be much more of a challenge when our daughter is older but so far distracting her with a toy while we zip through the aisles has proven to be a pretty easy task for our family. 

However, there are times when I really need to get some work done around the house but I have a sweet little girl who just wants to play...and it's times like this when I believe it would benefit our daughter to have a sibling to play with, as I did. But alas, I get on the floor and play with her.

''Oh, you don't know because you haven't had your second one yet!''

Don't know? Don't know what!? I know exactly what it's like to be a mother. Last time I checked, one kid is all you need. 

''Are you trying for another kid?''

I'm sorry, did you just ask me if I'm having sex?

With that said, all of these are insensitive and absolutely none of anybody's business. However, they are not unique to mom's of only children. Just because you have more than one child doesn't mean these questions will stop. I am aware of that. Have two boys? Everyone wants to know when you'll be having a girl. As if it's something that you actually have control over. 

My final bit of advice? The number of children you have, whether it's one or seven, does not define you as a mom. How you raise them, treat them, and love them does. Let’s focus on that. 

Why I'm that mom that everyone hates and why I really don't care

Something I have learned since becoming a parent is that everyone seems to think they know better than you what is best for your child. I'm becoming a professional at tuning out unsolicited advice and perfecting my ability to side eye anyone who starts off a sentence with ''You should...'' Here are a few of my favorites:

1. Rice cereal.

Person: ''You look tired! You should put rice cereal in Willow's bottle. She'll sleep through the night! I don't have kids but my uncle's girlfriend's sister has a friend who has a kid and that's what she does!''

There was a time when adding cereal to a bottle was recommended to help children sleep soundly. However, there is no evidence that feeding your child a more substantial meal, or giving them a bottle at all, will help them sleep more soundly. Babies will instinctively wake during the night both to feed and interact with their parents. I know this to be true because Willow wakes up at 6am and coos at me until I wake up. I open my eyes to find her staring back at me and smiling. Babies are not capable of sleeping for 5 hours at a time, the standard definition of a full nights sleep, until they have a nervous system which has fully matured. This has nothing to do with whether or not their stomach is full. Every baby is different so it is difficult to predict when exactly your child will reach this milestone.

Even if it were true that rice cereal helped a baby sleep through the night, I don't think it's worth it when you consider the health issues that come in to play when you make the decision to add rice cereal to your baby's milk.

Whether you use a spoon or a bottle (Which you aren't even supposed to do) feeding a baby rice cereal too early can increase their risk for obesity later on in life. Stanford University pediatrician Dr. Alan Greene warns that rice cereal is the number one source of calories during the first year of life. Babies who ate white rice cereal diets developed an increased risk of type 1 diabetes. It increases your baby's insulin levels, promoting weight gain while weakening the body's ability to lose fat. As we all know, obesity can lead to heart problems. I am exclusively breastfeeding Willow until she is 6 months and then I will incorporate solid foods into her diet while continuing to breastfeed. I think it is a terrible idea to give babies solids before they have reached 6 months because babies younger than 6 months in age are not developed enough to manage solid food.

On the subject of rice cereal, I'm skipping it. Willow will never have rice cereal. There is no point in even giving babies rice cereal because it is an unnecessary filler that is hard to digest.

2. Bedsharing.

I BEDSHARE. I love bedsharing.

Person: ''YOU SLEEP WITH HER IN THE BED? YOU'RE GOING TO END UP ROLLING OVER HER AND KILLING HER. I WATCHED A MOVIE ON LIFE TIME ONCE WHERE THE MOM SHOT UP HEROIN AND THEN SLEPT IN BED WITH HER NEWBORN AND BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.''

When Willow was a newborn she had jaundice pretty badly. After she was released from the NICU we had to take her back to the hospital every day for a few days to have her levels checked. While we were getting her levels checked, I would meet with a lactation consultant so I could learn more about breastfeeding, make sure I'm doing everything correctly, and ask questions. Ethan was with me at every single visit and during one of our visits he brought up that I kept falling asleep while breastfeeding Willow and that he didn't want her sleeping in our bed because he's afraid he's going to hurt her. Or worse, kill her. We were told that a study was done where parents bedshared with their brain activity being monitored in their sleep. If you are a healthy human being that is not under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol, your body is aware that there is a baby in the bed and unless you are excessively tired or under the influence of drugs/alcohol, the chances of you rolling over your baby are very slim. Really it's what is best for your family. We had intended to roomshare. We bought a Fisherprice auto rock n' play to go next to our bed but upon coming home from the hospital I realized it was best to let her sleep in it throughout the day and with me at night so that I could breastfeed more easily. Bedsharing works so well for us because when Willow is in bed with us she doesn't have to cry to get our attention and I don't have to get out of bed. I lay on my side facing her with my lower arm up and my knee bent. This creates a little protective cove so that I can't roll anywhere and Ethan can't roll into our space. Plus she stays oriented towards my breasts in her safe cove that is away from pillows. She just latches on and we fall back asleep again. Upon bedsharing research (Which I went home and looked up after our meeting with the lactation consultant) I learned that our sleep-wake cycles synchronize so that we both have low-stress, low-level arousal throughout the night. It works for us.

I don't judge parents who put their child in a crib as soon as they come home from the hospital and that's why I think it's so silly that I get judged for bedsharing.

I get crap often for being ''too protective'' or ''too clingy'' because I don't want Willow being in a vehicle without me. Wanting to be around her all the time doesn't make me clingy, I just genuinely enjoy being around her. She's my baby. There's never been a time where I just didn't want her or to be around her. I've never just wanted to pawn her off on anyone else. I really enjoy being a mom.

3. Swaddling

Person: ''You shouldn't swaddle her. It's hazardous. She could overheat in there. She could get hip dysplasia. She needs to stretch her legs so she can grow properly.''

Swaddling has been one of those things that really work for us. Willow very seldom cries but there have been times that she has gotten a little fussy and we've swaddled her up and she completely stopped and fell soundly asleep. My best friend even bought a halo sleepsack for us to try out and Willow's laying next to me in her boppy right now wearing it, she's been asleep for about two hours now. She's less likely to startle, as well. I can clap, sing, play music, have the TV on, the dogs can bark, and he's just snoozing away. And hip dysplasia isn't even in the worry cards for us, we never wrap her up that tight that we would even have to be concerned with hip dysplasia.

4. CIO aka Crying it out.

Person: ''Just let her cry it out, she'll be fine.''

NO. JUST NO. It is inhumane.

Babies left to cry it out have been shown to be stressed even after they do appear to be ''sleep trained.'' I read up on research that was conducted at the University of North Texas. Infants aged 4-10 months did a 5 day inpatient sleep training program. By the 3rd night of being left alone to cry, they were crying less and falling asleep faster. However, the cortisol levels measured in their saliva remained high, indicating that they were just as physically stressed as if they had remained crying. The distress associated with crying it out can affect brain development. Extensive stress during babyhood kills synapses which are rapidly growing in the first year of life. Because of this, networks of connections between brain systems don't get established properly. This can lead to anxiety and depression. Babies left to cry it out also have a higher chance of being dependent later on in life which is really ironic because every person that has told me to let Willow cry it out has said something about how she needs to learn to be dependent. Ha.

5. Babywise.

I was actually told by my CF doctor that I need to check out this book. I went home and researched it and then conducted my own opinion on it.

As nice as it sounds that a 7 to 9 week old baby could be on a schedule, I don't believe it's fair to put the baby on a rigid schedule dictated by the clock. Baby needs to eat and restricting the baby's intake just isn't right. I can't justify thinking ''Ok she's hungry but it's only been 45 minutes so she can wait.'' That's awful.

My parenting style can be best described as attachment parenting, which is all about being close to your child. Controversial practices such as co-sleeping and long-term breastfeeding are considered part of this parenting style. I've been called clingy and told that Willow is going to grow up to be selfish because I make my life revolve around her. I disagree and so do supporters of attachment parenting. Supporters of attachment parenting say it helps children emotionally bond and develop a sense of trust. It also teaches kindness and compassion. In my opinion, this isn't a bad thing to learn. Who doesn't love cuddling with their kids?

At the end of the day, I really don't care who thinks I'm being a helicopter mom. It doesn't bother me that people think I'm crazy for not wanting to introduce my baby to pointless things such as rice cereal, or that i'm being a momster by not letting Willow be in a vehicle without me. Certain things just make me feel uncomfortable and being a mom is the greatest thing I've ever done. So yeah, maybe it has made me a little crazy. But that's just because I have an idea of how I want things done and I don't have time to argue with people who don't agree with my methods. We're happy and everything we're doing works for us. That's all that matters.

Products that have made being a new mom 10x easier

As you all know, Willow turned a month old yesterday. Although it's only been a month, I feel like I have learned so much and I'm eager to share with you all! I'm practically a professional mom. *Winks* Just kidding, I'm aware that I still have a lot to learn but in the meantime, I'll share what I have so far...Starting with things that I feel have made being a new mom ten times easier.

1. -Car seat and stroller-
I want to start off by saying that I love our car seat and stroller. (Big thanks to my sister!) We have a Chicco Keyfit 30 and to go along with it, the Keyfit Caddy stroller. The car seat so light, easy to install, easy to put a squirming infant in, and the straps are easy to clean. (Trust me, I actually am a professional at cleaning car seat straps now--Willow has grown quite fond of spitting up on them every time I put her in the car seat. That's right, she loves it so much that it makes her projectile vomit.) As for the stroller, I love love love it. It doesn't look like there's much to it, which makes it a little intimidating. However, it folds and unfolds with the press of a button. I can fold and unfold it using one hand. (Which is perfect when you have a baby in one hand.) The handle is adjustable and great for hanging clothes on at Forever 21. The basket underneath the stroller is actually pretty spacious. I usually put my diaper bag in and then place her car seat on top and I'm good to go! I've even taken her on a stroll around the neighborhood in it. The only thing I don't like is that the cup holders on the top were made for people who buy small water bottles. I, however, buy normal sized water bottles. My water bottle was too tall and wobbled all over the place causing my OCD to skyrocket. Willow's bottle fit perfectly in it though so I guess it's not the worst.

2. -Baby carrier-
Yeah, yeah, I know I just went on about two things that you can transport your baby in...but here's a third just because I love baby gear. (And baby WEARING!) We have an Ergo. I could climb to the roof top RIGHT NOW and shout to the entire world ''I LOVE OUR ERGO!'' It's comfy and provides so many snuggles. I'll be able to use it for years but I bought the infant insert that goes in it for newborns and Willow looks so cozy in it. She falls asleep EVERY time I put her in it. It makes it an absolute dream when I have a baby that just wants to be held and a thousand loads of laundry calling out to me. I haven't tried discretely breastfeeding in it yet but I'm almost 99% positive that I could get away with it without anyone ever knowing. I'll test this theory out when I get brave enough. No, I'm not one of those moms who whips out my ninnies while walking through the mall and shoves it into my baby's mouth. If you're one of those moms, more power to you.

3. -''Rocker''-
When deciding ''Where is Willow going to sleep?'' we stumbled across a device by Fisherprice called the auto Rock 'N Play. Actually, we stumbled across one that doesn't rock by itself and got the auto rock one instead because we're fancy schmancy. (And because it was only $20 more and c'mon, it rocked by itself.) It has an inclined seat which helps baby sleep. It has TWELVE songs and three sound effects. It folds up and out easy with the push of a button. We keep this right next to our bed and she sleeps in it at night, although honestly we have found that it's easier to just have her in bed with us. (Safely, of course. But that's just because I'm breastfeeding and it makes 3am feeds significantly easier when I can just roll over and feed her.

4. -Swaddling blankets-
We have tried a few but our favorites are the Aden + Anais swaddling blankets. They're huge, which makes swaddling super easy. They're soft, too. We've used them not only as swaddling blankets but also as spit up clothes, changing pads, carseat covers, and I even used it over my shoulders to keep myself warm one evening when I made the mistake of wearing a tanktop to a baseball game on a windy day.

Side note: I have heard people say that their baby did not ''like'' to be swaddled. I would just like to say that I think that's the dumbest thing I have ever heard. If your newborn doesn't ''like'' being swaddled, you're probably not doing it right. Obviously when they get older they probably don't want to be swaddled anymore so I am only applying this opinion to newborns.

5. -Wearable blankets-
Another swaddling product that I love (Because I am definitely a fan of swaddling) is something I just recently came across in Willow's nursery and thought ''I should probably use it before she outgrows it.) My best friend who lives in Germany bought Willow a HALO Sleepsack swaddle blanket and after putting Willow in it for 5 minutes and watching her fall asleep looking SO content, it's one of my favorite baby products. When we first put Willow in her rock n' play we were so afraid that the blanket we had her swaddled in was SOMEHOW going to ride up to her nose and make it where she couldn't breathe. I spent a lot of time making my swaddles super tight so that this wasn't something we had to stress over every night. However, once I put her in this ''wearable blanket'', I realized that it eliminates that fear. Also it has a 2 in 1 option so she doesn't have to have her hands swaddled. She can have them out if she pleases, or if she gets too big to be swaddled but can still fit inside of the sleepsack. Of course I prefer for her arms to be in because it prevents the startle reflex and allows her to sleep better. It's actually a product that is used in hospitals because it reduces the risk of SIDS. We only have one but we're definitely going to invest in more because in my opinion new parents really can't have too many of them.

6. -Pacifier-
...but we don't just use any paci, we use a WubbaNub. You've probably seen photos of Willow in her carseat with a little red dog attached to a paci attached to her mouth. This thing rocks. At first I didn't plan on using a paci until the ride hope from the hospital and that was only IF she was crying. However, she unexpectedly was placed in the NICU for phototherapy to treat jaundice the day we were supposed to be discharged from the hospital. She had to wear a mask to protect her eyes from the lights and she was screaming. It was absolutely heartbreaking. I finally got tired of feeling helpless and offered her a pacifier but her mouth wasn't really strong enough yet to hold a it by herself. I then remembered that I had a WubbaNub in my diaper bag and figured I'd give that a try. The little dog attached to the paci makes it easy for it to just sit on her chest while the paci is in her mouth and it holds it in place for her which is pretty awesome. She immediately calmed down and I felt like a genius. Aside from soothing babies in the NICU, she uses it at home and in the car as well. The pacifier is made of medical grade silicone and BPA free. The soft plush portion provides comfort to the touch and and makes it so much easier for the baby's little hands to grasp and manipulate the pacifier themselves. Which means fewer bouncing, rolling, and lost pacifiers and less rooting around in the stroller or bag to find it. They have 15 different animals but they only have the red dog at Babies 'R' Us. Willow gets mistaken for a boy all the time in public because of it (unless she's wearing a bow) but I was so happy I put it on my registry and so happy it was purchased by a friend.

6. -Nursing pillow-
While I was pregnant Ethan went out and spent a ton of money on a pregnancy pillow that I thought was absolutely ridiculous--the snoogle. However, after sleeping with it I no longer thought it was ridiculous. It became my best friend and I could not sleep without it. Now here I am with a newborn and I still find myself hugging my snoogle at night and loving Ethan for buying it for me. I know everyone's got their own nursing pillow preferences, (Boppies, breast friends, etc.) but I actually use my pregnancy pillow to support Willow sometimes while I'm breastfeeding her. Actually, I not only sleep and breastfeed her with it, but I also use it to create a cozy, safe protective barrier for her to sleep in so Ethan doesn't roll over her when she's on my right side and so she doesn't fall off the bed when she's on my left side. Sometimes I completely roll it up and sit her in it the way you would with a newborn lounger boppy. (We have a boppy as well but I have still used my pregnancy pillow more than I have used the actual boppy.)

7. -Nasal aspirator-
I personally think that while the  nasal aspirator used at the hospital is effective, it is disgusting. And that is only because there's no way of being able to clean it. I once saw a photo on the internet (It was on the internet so I know it's real) of a hospital grade snot sucker that was broken open...it looked SO DISGUSTING. And I mean, it makes sense--how could you possibly clean those things? So being anti hospital-grade aspirator and super fancy schmancy, I did some snotsucker research and came across the Nosefrida. You actually suck the snot out yourself using your mouth and it sounds so gross but it's not at all There's physically no way their boogies can get in your mouth, there's a filter. My favorite thing is that you can actually see what you're sucking out so you know it's doing it's job. My second favorite thing is that it's washable. You can use your own suction, it's placed on the outside of the nostril instead of the inside, and it presents no risk or harm to internal nasal structures.

8. -Breast pump-
I'll be honest, I wasn't pleased about the idea of having to spend hundreds of dollars on a breast pump upon realizing that my insurance would not cover it. However, I lucked up. I posted on a group page that I'm in on Facebook about which breast pumps are the best (after hours of looking into purchasing a used one from a complete stranger on Craigslist) To my rescue came someone I'm actually Facebook friends with, have never met, but lives in the same city as me. She offered to let me use hers if I promised to give it back because she eventually wants more babies. She just so happened to have the breast pump that I really wanted. The Medela Pump In Style. I ended up borrowing it and just purchasing my own tubings and bottles. I saved so much money and the pump is AMAZING so I'm forever grateful to this woman. It's a double electric pump, so you can't go wrong with that. It's super fast too and comes with a bag you can store everything in. It even has the option of pumping on the go, literally anywhere. (Just needs batteries.) I love love love it.

9. -Breast pads-
Okay, I want to share with you what happened when my milk came in. I had been hand expressing colostrum because I found that was easiest. (This was before I used a breast pump and discovered how amazing it was.) One morning I woke up and my breasts were rock hard. I hadn't done any research on what happens when your milk comes in so I was like ''Oh la la la, gonna express some colostrum.'' I was sitting across the bed from Ethan and I unhooked my nursing bra. To our surprise, milk SHOT ACROSS THE ROOM. I screamed. I was like ''HOLY CRAP THAT'S MILK.'' And he was like ''OH MY GOD YOU JUST SHOT MILK OUT OF YOUR BOOB.'' And we were in hysterics because we were not expecting that at all. So I fed Willow and we were like ''Okay going to Babies 'R' Us today to get those tubings and whatnot for that breast pump.'' A few hours later I had soaked through my shirt. I read that that would happen so I'm not really sure why I waited until it did to use the breast pads we had bought months before having Willow. However, they were a life saver. I used the Medela ones but found that I actually prefer the Lansinoh brand instead.

10. -Milk storage bags-
Not much to say about these except that they come in handy when you want to store milk. I have tried the Lansinoh brand and the Medela brand. I prefer the Lansinoh brand because the labels are better and you can store more than 5 oz, whereas with the Medela brand you can only store 5 oz in each bag. However, I do like that the Medela brand stands up on it's own with milk inside. So I'm not going to tell you ''HEY GO BUY THIS BRAND.'' Buy whatever floats your boat. I'm currently working on the box of Medela ones but once those are gone I will be going back to the Lansinoh ones. The Lansinoh ones float my boat.

11. -NIPPLE BUTTER-
I put that in all caps because I just remembered that while I'm typing about all of this breastfeeding stuff, I forgot to mention my absolute favorite thing in the entire world. Above the breast pads and the milk bags, NIPPLE BUTTER IS MY JAM. Now, I have used 4 different kinds. I have used the Palmers kind, which did nothing for me. I then used the Medela brand. Meh. It was okay. So was the Lansinoh brand. But the brand that really knocked my socks off was the Earth Mama Angel Baby brand. (Of course, I would like the most expensive brand.) SERIOUSLY. AMAZING. I was so sore in the beginning but started using the EMAB brand and now I'm like ''What are sore nipples?''

12. -Baby monitor-
Honestly I don't think it matters really what kind you get. I got a really basic one from Babies 'R' Us (Safety 1st sure glow audio monitor) and only because it was on sale but it has come in handy and I'm glad that I have it. Flashback to the first week of having Willow. I tried to take a shower for the first time without someone else being there to keep an eye on her and whew! Boy was it stressful! I thought I heard her crying and jumped out of the shower with soap in my hair still to find her inside of her rock n' play fast asleep. Twice. My next shower, I stopped being a bum and put some batteries in our baby monitor and ta-da! Problem solved! I've even been able to get an hour long tan sesh by the pool in while she was napping thanks to our baby monitors. Oooh, my favorite thing about our super basic baby monitor is that it has a ''page'' button on it that you can use to find the other monitor if you lose it...but I like being able to use it for other reasons. *Wink* Like if I'm in Willow's nursery with her I can press the page button and the monitor in our bedroom where Ethan more than likely is starts beeping like ''HEY YOU, GET IN HERE AND HELP ME CLEAN THIS POOP OFF OF MY LEG.'' Pretty nifty.

I think that wraps it up! These are the few things I can think of that really made this first month ''not so bad''. Being a mom is amazing and although I'm running on three hours of sleep and an energy drink, I wouldn't trade it for the world. This month has flown by and it's truly heartbreaking. I wish she could stay little forever.

Happy 1 month, Willow Rose!

Also, here's a few of my favorite photos of baby Willow from the past month!

April 11th, 3 days old
The day we were able to take her home!

April 13th, 5 days old

April 17th, 9 days old

Her first bath *Given by her aunt Shannon*

April 25th, 17 days old

April 28th, 20 days old

April 30th, 22 days old

Terrible quality.

I love how she looks at me.

May 5th, 27 days old

Our first time walking around the neighborhood in her stroller.

May 8th, 1 month old

BRB CRYING.

Happy birthday Willow Rose!: The birth story

On April 7th at 4:30a.m I woke up thinking ''This is it! Today is the day we become parents!'' And I scrambled around the house collecting all of our belongings and trying to make myself as physically appealing as humanly possible while running on two hours of sleep. I had no idea what to expect and that both excited and scared me.

Our induction was scheduled for 6am. We got to the hospital two minutes late. I'm never anywhere on time so this was actually impressive. I had been told for the last 38 weeks ''You're never going to make it anywhere on time again once this baby comes!'' Well jokes on you, I'm never anywhere on time anyways.

Everything felt so organized. It didn't feel much like you would expect thanks to television shows and movies where the woman is walking around the mall eating an ice cream cone and her water breaks right while she's at the check out at Nordies and Patrick Dempsey happens to be standing in line behind her so he delivers her baby. Patrick Dempsey didn't deliver my baby. But it was still an incredible birthing experience. And I think everyone's birthing experience is incredible in it's own special way. Induction or all the way, vaginal or c-section...every birth is special.

Anyways, I walked right up to the counter and I said ''Hi. I'm here to have a baby.'' The cute little spanish lady behind the counter said ''Okay, fill out this paper. And this one. And this one. And this one.'' Man, having a baby requires a lot of filling out papers and answering weird questions like ''When's the last time you went number two?''

After filling out all of the paperwork I was taken to the room where I would be during labor, delivery, and recovery. I thought that was really neat, that I would get to stay in one room the entire time. It was cozy. Nothing happened for hours and then around 9am someone came in and checked my cervix. It wasn't even opened yet which meant that for me the next few hours were going to be brutal. In order to open my cervix my doctor inserted a foley bulb catheter. (This happened around 9am) If you ask Google ''What is a foley bulb catheter?'' this is what you will find:

''The use of a Foley Catheter for labor induction is not as common as it once was. The balloon portion of the Foley, used to keep the bladder empty, is inserted, deflated, into the uterus either by having your practitioner visual the cervix as in a speculum exam or with the fingers, feeling that the balloon is between the amniotic sac and the lower uterine segment (bottom of the uterus.) The balloon is then inflated with saline solution and left in place.''

If you ask me what a foley bulb catheter is, I will tell you it is the absolute worst thing known to mankind. It hurts. The goal of using a foley bulb catheter is to cause the cervix to mechanically open. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. The worst part was that it had to stay in for 12 hours or until it came out on it's own. Luckily mine came out on it's own before the 12 hours. But it didn't cause much progress (I was only dilated at 2cm) so after it came out, they said ''Huh, weird, let's put another one in it's place!'' That time it worked.

They removed it at 8:30 p.m and I was dilated at 4cm and having painful contractions. They gave me something mild for the pain but it made me feel way better. At around 11p.m they broke my water. It was so weird! It felt like I peed myself. Definitely not an attractive thing to look down and see, either. And once they break your water, it sort of has a mind of it's own so it randomly gushes. *Wind blows* Gushhhhh. I kept being asked ''Do you want to go ahead and get an epidural?'' But I kept saying no because I was so afraid it would slow down labor. I wanted to be progressed just a little bit more.

At about 12:30am they gave me an epidural and inserted a catheter. I was somewhat against an epidural because I didn't want a catheter but I am so glad that I got one. I couldn't feel my contractions (Or my toes) and it was AWESOME. Not to mention I no longer had to get up to go pee. I could just do it right there in bed which is practically every lazy person's dream. Since I will never get to be lazy again, I figured I'd take advantage of the pee-situation. At around 2am I noticed that my stomach felt smaller. Not sure why, but I'm assuming it had something to do with the loss of amniotic fluid. All I could think about was eating tacos. I was starving. I hadn't eaten in over 24 hours at this point.

The epidural wasn't bad at all. I'm used to needles and all that fun stuff, I have Cystic Fibrosis. I was told to sit on the edge of the bed and open my gown. I had to sit up straight and perfect. It was a little scary thinking ''Alright, this could paralyze me. Hope this guy knows what he's doing.'' But it all worked out well and the epidural felt like heaven. I didn't do a ton of research on it, honestly. So I wasn't expecting to have a tiny tubing hanging out of my back. (It was not even noticeable or uncomfortable. It was lovely.) They taped it down so that I could not tug or pull at it while moving around in bed. It felt very secure.

By 8am the next morning I was dilated at 6cm. They started giving me pitocin through an IV to help with the process. Pitocin is a synthetic form of oxytocin used to induce labor.

At 2pm that day my nurse came in and checked my cervix and I was 8cm dilated! I began to get REALLY excited when she told me she could feel Willow's head and could tell there was a little bit of hair on it. I instantly began dreaming about what color hair she would have.

I was then checked again around almost 4pm and was told that I was all ready to go and that whenever I feel like I have to have a bowel movement to call them and let them know because that meant that it was time to push. It was all up to Willow at this point! (Or so I thought.) Because then I felt a lot of pressure in my rectum and I shouted ''GUYS I THINK THIS IS IT. I THINK I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO POOP.'' So I call my nurse and tell her I think it's time. She comes in and checks my cervix again and says ''Well actually we thought you were 10cm but you're actually 9cm. You can't push yet.''

When I asked why the other nurse thought I was 10cm, she informed me that Willow had a cone head. And I then got on Google and was like ''Great, our child is going to come out looking all wonky.'' They gave me something that took the urge to push away. I was very sad, though. I just wanted to hold her. It didn't take long though for me to reach that last cm. My actual doctor came in around 8pm and said ''Alright, it's time!'' They let me do a practice push and then I did that a little too well so they were like ''OKAY IT'S DEFINITELY TIME.''

So my brother in law and nephews left the hospital room and Ethan and my big sister stayed. Ethan was on my left side and my sister was running around the room with her camera capturing the birth story. It all happened so fast. Ethan was holding one of my legs up and in a bended position because I couldn't fit them on the stirrups. (I am insanely short.) and a nurse was holding the other. I kept yelling across the room to my sister ''You better not be getting any pictures of my vagina!'' I was told to wait until I began to have a contraction and that then I could push. I had one good contraction and I knew it was time to push. I said ''Can I push!?'' and my doctor very coolly said ''Go ahead!'' So I did.

I felt a little pressure while pushing but with that one contraction and three good pushes, the doctor popped up holding Willow. I was in shock. The very first thing I said was ''Oh, she does have a little bit of a cone head.'' and Ethan and I were just laughing. It wasn't until they sat her on my chest that I absolutely melted. At that point it didn't matter if her head was square shaped. She was ours, we made her, she was perfect. She had a cry like a little baby pteradactyl. Ethan looked like he was on cloud 9. They took her off of my chest a little later to weigh her and clean some of the vernix off of her and he ran over to the table she was on and counted her fingers and toes, made sure she had two eyes, two ears, one nose, all of that fun stuff. He was shouting across to me ''She has all of her fingers and toes! She has two ears! She has a nose! She has both of her eyes!'' The nurses must have thought we were insanely weird. We were just over the moon excited.

Seriously, I feel like I had one of the easiest births in the history of easy births. The labor...well that was really rough. But once I had her in my arms it was all worth it. I could have been in labor for a whole year and it still would have been worth it. On April 8th at 8:26pm we had 6lbs and 13 oz of absolute perfection. She was 20 inches long and had RED HAIR just like her daddy. Ethan is so proud and I love him even more for her.

Our little family is perfect.

There was a 50% chance that baby Willow Rose would have Cystic Fibrosis because of me having it and Ethan being a carrier. As you all may know already, the amnio results from when I was 25 weeks pregnant came back that she is Cystic Fibrosis free. :) Also we'd like to report that her cone head has transformed into a normal shaped head. YAY for a CF/cone head free baby! 

To see full album visit Shannon Griffith Photography