1. Rice cereal.
Person: ''You look tired! You should put rice cereal in Willow's bottle. She'll sleep through the night! I don't have kids but my uncle's girlfriend's sister has a friend who has a kid and that's what she does!''
There was a time when adding cereal to a bottle was recommended to help children sleep soundly. However, there is no evidence that feeding your child a more substantial meal, or giving them a bottle at all, will help them sleep more soundly. Babies will instinctively wake during the night both to feed and interact with their parents. I know this to be true because Willow wakes up at 6am and coos at me until I wake up. I open my eyes to find her staring back at me and smiling. Babies are not capable of sleeping for 5 hours at a time, the standard definition of a full nights sleep, until they have a nervous system which has fully matured. This has nothing to do with whether or not their stomach is full. Every baby is different so it is difficult to predict when exactly your child will reach this milestone.
Even if it were true that rice cereal helped a baby sleep through the night, I don't think it's worth it when you consider the health issues that come in to play when you make the decision to add rice cereal to your baby's milk.
Whether you use a spoon or a bottle (Which you aren't even supposed to do) feeding a baby rice cereal too early can increase their risk for obesity later on in life. Stanford University pediatrician Dr. Alan Greene warns that rice cereal is the number one source of calories during the first year of life. Babies who ate white rice cereal diets developed an increased risk of type 1 diabetes. It increases your baby's insulin levels, promoting weight gain while weakening the body's ability to lose fat. As we all know, obesity can lead to heart problems. I am exclusively breastfeeding Willow until she is 6 months and then I will incorporate solid foods into her diet while continuing to breastfeed. I think it is a terrible idea to give babies solids before they have reached 6 months because babies younger than 6 months in age are not developed enough to manage solid food.
On the subject of rice cereal, I'm skipping it. Willow will never have rice cereal. There is no point in even giving babies rice cereal because it is an unnecessary filler that is hard to digest.
2. Bedsharing.
I BEDSHARE. I love bedsharing.
Person: ''YOU SLEEP WITH HER IN THE BED? YOU'RE GOING TO END UP ROLLING OVER HER AND KILLING HER. I WATCHED A MOVIE ON LIFE TIME ONCE WHERE THE MOM SHOT UP HEROIN AND THEN SLEPT IN BED WITH HER NEWBORN AND BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.''
When Willow was a newborn she had jaundice pretty badly. After she was released from the NICU we had to take her back to the hospital every day for a few days to have her levels checked. While we were getting her levels checked, I would meet with a lactation consultant so I could learn more about breastfeeding, make sure I'm doing everything correctly, and ask questions. Ethan was with me at every single visit and during one of our visits he brought up that I kept falling asleep while breastfeeding Willow and that he didn't want her sleeping in our bed because he's afraid he's going to hurt her. Or worse, kill her. We were told that a study was done where parents bedshared with their brain activity being monitored in their sleep. If you are a healthy human being that is not under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol, your body is aware that there is a baby in the bed and unless you are excessively tired or under the influence of drugs/alcohol, the chances of you rolling over your baby are very slim. Really it's what is best for your family. We had intended to roomshare. We bought a Fisherprice auto rock n' play to go next to our bed but upon coming home from the hospital I realized it was best to let her sleep in it throughout the day and with me at night so that I could breastfeed more easily. Bedsharing works so well for us because when Willow is in bed with us she doesn't have to cry to get our attention and I don't have to get out of bed. I lay on my side facing her with my lower arm up and my knee bent. This creates a little protective cove so that I can't roll anywhere and Ethan can't roll into our space. Plus she stays oriented towards my breasts in her safe cove that is away from pillows. She just latches on and we fall back asleep again. Upon bedsharing research (Which I went home and looked up after our meeting with the lactation consultant) I learned that our sleep-wake cycles synchronize so that we both have low-stress, low-level arousal throughout the night. It works for us.
I don't judge parents who put their child in a crib as soon as they come home from the hospital and that's why I think it's so silly that I get judged for bedsharing.
I get crap often for being ''too protective'' or ''too clingy'' because I don't want Willow being in a vehicle without me. Wanting to be around her all the time doesn't make me clingy, I just genuinely enjoy being around her. She's my baby. There's never been a time where I just didn't want her or to be around her. I've never just wanted to pawn her off on anyone else. I really enjoy being a mom.
3. Swaddling
Person: ''You shouldn't swaddle her. It's hazardous. She could overheat in there. She could get hip dysplasia. She needs to stretch her legs so she can grow properly.''
Swaddling has been one of those things that really work for us. Willow very seldom cries but there have been times that she has gotten a little fussy and we've swaddled her up and she completely stopped and fell soundly asleep. My best friend even bought a halo sleepsack for us to try out and Willow's laying next to me in her boppy right now wearing it, she's been asleep for about two hours now. She's less likely to startle, as well. I can clap, sing, play music, have the TV on, the dogs can bark, and he's just snoozing away. And hip dysplasia isn't even in the worry cards for us, we never wrap her up that tight that we would even have to be concerned with hip dysplasia.
4. CIO aka Crying it out.
Person: ''Just let her cry it out, she'll be fine.''
NO. JUST NO. It is inhumane.
Babies left to cry it out have been shown to be stressed even after they do appear to be ''sleep trained.'' I read up on research that was conducted at the University of North Texas. Infants aged 4-10 months did a 5 day inpatient sleep training program. By the 3rd night of being left alone to cry, they were crying less and falling asleep faster. However, the cortisol levels measured in their saliva remained high, indicating that they were just as physically stressed as if they had remained crying. The distress associated with crying it out can affect brain development. Extensive stress during babyhood kills synapses which are rapidly growing in the first year of life. Because of this, networks of connections between brain systems don't get established properly. This can lead to anxiety and depression. Babies left to cry it out also have a higher chance of being dependent later on in life which is really ironic because every person that has told me to let Willow cry it out has said something about how she needs to learn to be dependent. Ha.
5. Babywise.
I was actually told by my CF doctor that I need to check out this book. I went home and researched it and then conducted my own opinion on it.
As nice as it sounds that a 7 to 9 week old baby could be on a schedule, I don't believe it's fair to put the baby on a rigid schedule dictated by the clock. Baby needs to eat and restricting the baby's intake just isn't right. I can't justify thinking ''Ok she's hungry but it's only been 45 minutes so she can wait.'' That's awful.
My parenting style can be best described as attachment parenting, which is all about being close to your child. Controversial practices such as co-sleeping and long-term breastfeeding are considered part of this parenting style. I've been called clingy and told that Willow is going to grow up to be selfish because I make my life revolve around her. I disagree and so do supporters of attachment parenting. Supporters of attachment parenting say it helps children emotionally bond and develop a sense of trust. It also teaches kindness and compassion. In my opinion, this isn't a bad thing to learn. Who doesn't love cuddling with their kids?
At the end of the day, I really don't care who thinks I'm being a helicopter mom. It doesn't bother me that people think I'm crazy for not wanting to introduce my baby to pointless things such as rice cereal, or that i'm being a momster by not letting Willow be in a vehicle without me. Certain things just make me feel uncomfortable and being a mom is the greatest thing I've ever done. So yeah, maybe it has made me a little crazy. But that's just because I have an idea of how I want things done and I don't have time to argue with people who don't agree with my methods. We're happy and everything we're doing works for us. That's all that matters.
